How to win friends and influence people Pt. I

Picked up Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People at the suggestion of a friend.

I. Three principles in Fundamental Techniques in Handling People:

Principle I: Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
Principle II: Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Principle III: Arouse in the other an eager want.

I think the takeaway is not making a big deal about errors, recognize another person, and try to get them to want to do what you would like by getting them to want to.

“Elon Musk” update

I’ve had to put down the Musk biography because of the new job. But I did have some opinions of what I have read so far.

There’s obviously some venom toward him. Some people think he’s brought chaos to the world; others, a new freedom for discourse. Both are true. I  certainly wouldn’t want to work for him. Yes, it’s true that he is an inspiration, especially for those on the spectrum–and I thought that for the first 500 pages of Isaacson’s book. But when the stories become repetitive, you get the idea of what it’s like in that brain of his.

He has “surges,” where he pushes his employees to outperform. Many times, his demands are successful–other times, not. He sleeps on the factory floor or in a conference room and has a preternatural ability to sleeplessly work through technological problems until they are solved.

My biking buddy Lennie said a friend who worked for Musk told him of his holding one-on-ones with employees where he doesn’t look up while you are sitting there and asks difficult questions. He’s certainly a genius in engineering and asks those Google-level interview questions.

But there may be a trail of beat-up workers: the ones that have managed to survive his firings. (He asked who wanted to remain at Twitter/X when he took over, but then fired some of the same people who decided to stay.)

So, interpersonally, he sounds like an intimidating man. But he certainly has made a dent.

Work in general

I forgot about the need for free time when you work full-time. I miss my mornings reading. But I am doing some really cool stuff for work.

In the news, some alarming items about the middle east. It’s easy to get into apocalyptic thinking.

Still thankful for fam and friends, people who prayed for me.

Been taking Jax to a new park when possible, but he gets overheated.

Not turkey day

Just kind of venting on that un-Thanksgiving phrase. Same goes for Xmas and “happy holidays.”

I always hear about Uncle Bob coming over for Thanksgiving dinner and arguing about politics or religion. I have personally experienced relatives who just ignore those conflicts.

Praying for thanks and lifting up each other. It makes for harmony. A little light, a mountain top view. I want to be a lamp to other’s feet.

Meanwhile, since being on this keto diet I’ve been losing weight and my appetite has been nonexistent. I like it and don’t, i.e., I am not enticed by bread rolls and pies.

I’ve taken a “day off” before (Phil’s barbeque), but this will be an unsatisfying one, I think.

So I will be enjoying no arguments, but not enjoying food.

Old fashioneds for me and sis’ boyfriend.

That I not wail

“Mad and violent; bitterness mistook for frolic, I fought my way by literature and wit.” -Lewis.

O my soul, say you will not wail.
Though I pierce Him every day,
Say the sky will not break,
That there be no longer a shiver up my spine,
His feet brass burned in a furnace,
His voice rushing water,
The seven stars in His right hand.

The sword of His mouth sharper than any two edged sword,
Piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit.

The sun will shine in His strength.
Do not look upon me,
Just let me ascend.


My uncle Geoff is visiting from England. It’s been hot and sticky. Still good to show him around the island. He going to get an earful at American church tomorrow. Sister Jen and bf Daniel will be back here tomorrow as well.

Dry humor reigns this weekend.

Old places

Last time I was in the U.K. I spent some time in the New Forest. Wild ponies.

I didn’t return to my childhood school, but the places where we lived in Northbourne gave rise to memory. Walking to the local store, down by the river with my uncles, the pub frequented by dad and uncle.

There is a quietness of the chill air.

In summer, my nan sat in the yard, bathing in the sun, a little bold perhaps.

But the neighbors are gone now, too.

Sometimes, returning to old places, the ones from our childhood the most, destroys the dream.

Incompatible with flesh

The spirit is incompatible with the flesh. New wine in old wine skins.

It came upon me when I prayed that day some 30 years ago, something from above, something that could not be uttered. Its tingling sensation combined with a shiver. Voluntary versus involuntary. I had no control.

I can’t understand that feeling that fell on me, part flesh, part mind. Not graspable. Something heavenly, something strange and awesome.

The Milky Way rumbles.


Dear Prudence…

A phrase that was quoted by Twain and others is “better to be thought a fool and keep your mouth shut than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” (paraphrase)

In my personal life, this is a recent discovery 8^). I mean, I have encountered in debate with a friend, to wait and see what he says first.

I am also learning about how this relates to having proper boundaries. If you don’t keep your distance, you can end up full of emotion and lacking logic. Thinking meta.

Observing others goes hand-in-hand with respect for them as well. This leads to respective debate.

Bermuda Citizen Number One

Larger than life.

At the Royal Bermuda Yacht club, Charles lifted his whisky again and let loose some blue language. Then with that twinkle in his eye flirted with my mother. He had just returned from the Arctic sailing trip with Warren “War Baby” Brown and was once again the center of attention in Hamilton.
Continue reading “Bermuda Citizen Number One”

Merry Christmas!

It’s the calm of the storm, before the relatives get here. The little Xmas mice are diligently working making the cheese plates. The presents (yes there are presents for adults this year) are scintillating in the white light of the Christmas tree. I pull out my pipe and sit in my leather chair drinking Christmas whisky. Piles of books I have not yet read. Homemade mince tarts. Peace and grace.